Communication and Persuasion Techniques

If you want to be persuasive, you must master communication skills. Whether you are trying to move people to your way of thinking in print, on video, with live voice, or even in the most effective environment for persuading—in person, what you choose to say and how you say it will determine how effective a convincer you are.

Some convincing is easy. Not much skill needed to persuade the man dying of thirst to take a bottle of water. Inspiring someone to pack up their lives and move to another state for a business opportunity will likely take a bit more effort—and skill!

If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get

Over the years I have won many debates about the act of selling. I’ve met many people who have a beautiful spouse and family. They enjoy a bountiful lifestyle. But they tell me, “I’m no salesperson!” I fight to stifle a laugh every time. How do they figure they acquired all they have? Even those born into wealth have to ask for what they want. When allowed to explain myself, I get converts who suddenly realize they do sell. They realize if they improve those skills and techniques, they will benefit. They grow to understand persuading someone to consider a product is much easier than convincing them to buy it. The more challenging the situation, the more important those communication skills are. The more you want, the stronger your communication and persuasion skills must be. As I explained in my book, How to NOT Lose Friends and Fight with Other People, the questions you choose to ask will illuminate the direction you need to follow to be successful. Questions are the answer.

The book makes this point crystal clear. I highlight a number of situations where the concept of preparing people for what is coming is explained. Let me give you another simple example here. Say you want pizza for lunch. No one on the team has suggested any kind of food, so you say, “I can’t remember the last time I had a great pizza for lunch. You guys all like pizza, right?” If you find no opposition, and many of the team are nodding their heads, you can then ask, “I’m gonna’ order one, okay?” Don’t wait for them to answer. Hold your phone to your ear and dial the pizza place. If nobody steps up to stop you, it’s pizza for lunch. If you do get resistance, you could add, “What’s your favorite topping on pizza?” Don’t be abrupt and come out of nowhere with your question. Prepare them for your question, so they are ready with the positive answer you seek. By softening your approach, you multiply your chances of success. You don’t simply say, “You guys all want pizza for lunch?” Since the idea came at them out of nowhere, and gave them no time to adjust to the idea, you may get the traditional conditioned response of a, “No.” So you soften your approach and move them to that, “Yes.”

Build Your Skills the Way Bodybuilders Build Muscle

You must put in the time to perfect your communication and persuasion skills and learn the techniques, just like the aspiring bodybuilder must exercise. Learn the principles and practice. To build muscle, adequate amounts of protein must be consumed by the bodybuilder. To build persuasion capabilities, you must feed your mind with proven methods that work.

Imagine the frustrated bodybuilder being interviewed about their lack of progress, and they say, “I don’t understand why I am not improving. I exercised like crazy last month!” You and I both know, exercising must be consistent, even if maintaining the current fitness level is the goal. You can’t get long-term positive results without consistent effort. The same goes for developing strong communication and persuasion skills. You must consistently work at it. If you seek continued improvement, input new information and approaches, and practice! I know it is becoming unusual these days, but try this—talk with people!

Use It or Lose It

Once the bodybuilder builds the muscle for that fantastic physique, they can slow their frantic pace. Maintaining muscle is easier than building it. The same goes for communication and persuasion skills. Use those skills or they will fade. If the bodybuilder stops keeping their muscles in shape, they will atrophy—shrink away. If you make your iPhone your best friend, and live your life glued to the screen, not interacting with people, your communication and persuasion skills will atrophy too.

The good news is: once those skills and techniques are learned, if they fade over time, you can revive them far easier than the effort originally required to build them. Just like riding a bike, you mind will refresh and remember, once you feed it again, and practice.

Enhancing your knowledge of communication and persuasion techniques and skills will bring another benefit. Beyond successfully convincing people your way is the best, you will be eliminating conflict. You won’t have to fight with people to get your way. Persuasion will make life easier. Your quality of life will blossom as your stress levels drop. If for no other reason, learn communication and persuasion skills for your health! Learn and practice!